It’s with over-the-moon happiness, joy, pride, excitement, love and All The Emotions that Luke & I get to announce that we’re the parents of this 9 wk old, 11+ pound bundle of deliciousness.
We’ve been parenting her since 6/16, & while the adoption won’t be finalized ’til the end of the year-ish, we’re now secure in the fact that this is our daughter – and we’re so beyond-beyond we have to shout it from the rooftops.
This is our first official family-of-3 photo, taken Saturday morning. She even gave us The Ward Eyebrow to show how much she belongs.
Luke & I decided we wanted to adopt in Dec ’12, and it took 9 months to pick an agency, get the paperwork done, etc. We’ve been “on the books” since September (when our profile started to be shown to birth Moms), but only had 4 days notice last month when we were told that we were “chosen”.
It’s been a hard, crazed, emotional process – but one with such a rewarding end!
Knowing me, the full story is coming at some point, but for now I’m just not sure how much I wanna disclose and where/when. So I’ll save that story for another time.
All I wanna say here and now is this:
Change. Is. Amazing.
I was oh so ready for this new relationship, this new love, this new challenge.
I wanted it with every cell in my body.
And I thought – these last few months especially:
“How strange. Usually change is scary. Fearful. Unsafe. Usually we do what we can to stop it. To stay safe and protected. And all I want now is for my life to Change.”
I felt paralyzed even, knowing my ability to be a Mom lied in someone else’s hands. We were waiting for someone to recognize something in Luke and I (in our looks, our location, our hobbies, our personality, our family members, etc.) that they related to.
I would have flashbacks to my time as an actor, willing myself to forget auditions as soon as they happened so as not to disappoint myself if the phone never rang. Willing myself to not take it personally if I got passed up for a role, never knowing if it was my looks or my talent or something else that didn’t resonate with the director.
I hated becoming that optimistic pessimist again – expecting the worst but wishing for the best.
I had to remind myself, though, that we were being proactive.
We chose to adopt. That was the right decision for us as a family (yes, Luke and I were a family before Baby Girl came along). It was a strong, powerful, ask-of-the-Universe decision and we were going for it.
Also, it’d be worth the wait to find a birth Mom who did choose us because she liked all the things we are. We knew that would be the right match, the right baby.
Sometimes, the yearning for Something New outweighs the fear.
That’s the time for you to do something about it.
Stop taking “No”, “Not now”, or “Never” for an answer.
Stop taking “You’re not worthy”, “It’s not the right time”, “You don’t deserve it” as excuses.
Instead, take that first step.
Do that Google search.
Ask that scary question to the person who has an answer.
Listen to that tiny voice.
Because nobody will stop you from being what you dream of becoming more than you.
And you? You can be everything you want to be.